Parents, Teens, & Texting; Ground Rules

The more things change the more they stay the same. Conflict between teens with emerging self identites and their parents with set in their ways ideals of who they want their kids to be is as old as civilization itself. Rebelion against the authority that nutured them to teenhood is part of the life cycle, natural and expected. So how to parents deal with the annoiance of rebellion in our technologically advanced age? Pretty much the same as throughout history. Issues change but only in form not content.

Communication, communication, communication. That refrain has diferent meanings to each party. Parents believe that means do as I say. Teens see a complete lack of understanding from parents as a void that cannot be filled. Slow down, take a deep breath, relax and start all over. The subject: constant texting. Well from that perspective teens are communicating with each other; now to tap into that reservoir of information and motivation.

A unique video at julianscomedystop.tv explores the basic challenge. To reach agreement with your teen about what is or is not appropriate behavior and at what time. Rather than preach the do's and don'ts like Lou Pastrami to his daughter in the sample video, remeber to listen, a point Lou has completely overlooked. In another JCS funny video entitled "parental Advice", Mom Patty reflects "Listening to your kids is just as important as talking to them." Maybe more so.

So let's get started. 1) Listen to your kids and get their input. 2) Share your hopes, dreams, expectations, and realization that they, not you, are responsible for who they are to be and how. 3) Offer support and unconditional love. 4) Let your teen decide what and when appropriate texting should occur. 5) Tell them the bottom line. Be honest but firm. Lay down the law; because after all, that's what parents have been doing since the dawn of time.

Here are some starters that are good for communication and discussion with your teen. Ground Rules: 1) No texting in the shower. 2) No texting while driving. (Remeber to set the example yourself.) 3) No texting in the boxing ring or while undergoing surgery. If you and your teen can agree to those then you are off to a good start and it's time to add to your Texting Ground Rules porfolio of do's and don'ts. When is it appropriate to text?

Can you agree to no texting during Saturday morning chore time, not in church, no texting during family meal time? When is it OK? Try to keep an open mind and keep the conversation active, ongoing, and evolving. Diferent circumstances will occur so the reasoning of why certain times aren't good for texting will serve as a basis for making future choices. When should your teen text you? When will you text her or him, and expect a confirming response?

Be part of the solution. Be a proud participant in your teen's ability to make good decisions. That may be the best you can offer because like teens throughout history, yours will want to show their independance. Expect it. Brace for it, but at the same time help to make it an easy transition. Be flexible but firm. Easier said than done perhaps but your teen will see you trying and being a steadfast rock they can depend on at the same time. You don't have to be friends. Sometimes kids just want you as a parent. Good luck, keep a sense of humor, and stay at it.